悲喜劇

What can we do? We must live our lives.
Yes, we shall live, Uncle Vanya. We shall live through the long procession of days before us, and through the long evenings; we shall patiently bear the trials that fate imposes on us; we shall work for others without rest, both now and when we are old; and when our last hour comes we shall meet it humbly, and there, beyond the grave, we shall say that we have suffered and wept, that our life was bitter, and God will have pity on us. Ah, then dear, dear Uncle, we shall see that bright and beautiful life; we shall rejoice and look back upon our sorrow here; a tender smile--and--we shall rest. I have faith, Uncle, fervent, passionate faith.
We shall rest.
We shall rest. We shall hear the angels. We shall see heaven shining like a jewel. We shall see all evil and all our pain sink away in the great compassion that shall enfold the world. Our life will be as peaceful and tender and sweet as a caress. I have faith; I have faith.
My poor, poor Uncle Vanya, you are crying!
You have never known what happiness was, but wait, Uncle Vanya, wait! We shall rest.
We shall rest.
We shall rest.

--Sonia in Uncle Vanya

看了Maly Drama Theater of St. Petersburg演出Chekov的Uncle Vanya
走出戲院時的情緒是滿溢的
但又說不上是什麼
結尾Sonia對Uncle Vanya的獨白迴盪在冷風中的公車站

這樣一個長達三個小時的悲喜劇
劇中人的困境一一的浮現
愛與不愛的困境
面對病痛和死亡的困境
甚至是人生目標的困境
就像是不斷鼓脹的氣球
幾乎要炸毀這個鄉村的莊園
但被那一聲槍響所劃破的
卻不是這隨時就要爆開的汽球
而是如何承載著這些痛苦、失望、絕望
找到那個可以與之共處的希望
背負著一切繼續走下去